Vladivostok road repair flashmob

I've seen Michael Jackson memorial flashmobs. I've seen MC Hammer Pants-clad flashmobs. Improv Everywhere has nearly perfected the art of getting large groups of people to suddenly show up in one place for all kinds of hijinks. But never have I seen a flashmob do something objectively useful. Not until now, anyway.

According to EnglishRussia, which is my new best friend, earlier this month a group of Vladivostok drivers upset with municipal authorities' neglect of the city roads came together to repair a single pothole and raise money for further efforts. EЯ has pictures of the process, with about 15-20 people--men and women alike--wearing bright orange vests. Some of them are working on the asphalt and a few of them are holding cardboard boxes marked "НА ДОРОГИ ГОРОДА" and "НА ДОРОГИ ВЕЗ ЯМ," meaning "For the city roads" and "for roads without holes." Based on the sheer number of pictures of people putting money in the boxes, I'd say they were at least mildly successful. They did a pretty good job of repairing the one pothole, and hopefully the stunt will call the municipal authorities' attention to the problem and force them to look into it.

Click here to see pictures.

I kind of want one

EnglishRussia never fails to deliver articles about bizarre goings-on in Russia, and this instance is no different. I found an article about a guy who decided that merely wearing a tinfoil hat was not enough to protect his brain from alien and/or government mind control rays. His wife wouldn't let him cover every interior surface of their house in tinfoil, so he moved into their garage and proceeded to foil the place up. (click for pictures)

I really like the article's introduction, too:

"The best way to get yourself hundred percent proved protection from brain slugs and alien brain-control transmissions you can wear a tin-foil hat. That’s a well known fact. But in order to get two hundred percent protection you need to move further and take some more serious approach for your brain security."

That's right, folks. You heard it here first. In today's world, with our incredible technologies, brain security ought to be number one on your list. Bust out that tinfoil and get to redecoratin', quick, before the government knows what you're doing!

That said, I kind of want a tinfoil shack...

Profile of Russian Star Volume 1: Андрей Кириленко

Andrei Kirilenko was born in Ishevsk, but grew up in Saint Petersburg during Soviet era. At tender age of 15, Kirilenko became youngest player to ever compete in Russian Superleague (Баскетбольная Суперлига). In 1999, at age of 18, Kirilenko became youngest European player ever selected in NBA draft when he was picked by Utah Jazz. He continued play in Russia for two more years before making transition to NBA.

In first season, Kirilenko was named to All- Rookie first team. He play good defense and he play good offense. This shown as he regularly have good all-around games, such as when he posted 14 Points, 8 Rebounds, 9 Assists, 6 Steals, and 7 Blocks in one game on January 3rd of the 05-06 season. This is possibly closest anyone ever come to recording quintuple-double (10 of all 5 stats), at least since blocks and steals started being recorded.

And he look like Ivan Drago (the guy from Rocky IV for the uninformed).

Russian Presence in Deep Space

Since 2005, the Red Alliance, a powerful Russian-speaking conglomerate of various Russian Corporations, has established itself as a major player in the mineral-driven economy of New Eden. I'll briefly describe some of the events that have taken place in the Red Alliance's storied history.

The Red Alliance formed after a prior group disbanded. This group was known as the Curse Alliance and it's destruction led to the formation of various new powers, not the least of which was the new Red Alliance. Another alliance that formed from the ashes of the Curse Alliance, was The Five, which would go on to betray the Red Alliance. But with the aid of their friends in Rage and Terror, the Red Alliance was able to triumph over it's former allies.

Eventually Lokta Voltera would begin expansion into the Red Alliance's territory, and with the help of other alliances, would go on to defeat the Red Alliance in Immensea and also in Wicked Creek.

After the defeat in Wicked Creek on the 8th of March when R.A. lost 9 dreadnaughts, a dark period began in RA’s story. Torn by internal intra-corporation conflicts and surrounded on all sides by the encroaching forces of the coalition, RA began rapidly losing conquered territories. First to fall were Immensea and Detorid, next in line came Wicked Creek, the last to fall were Insmother and Scalding Pass. Corporations were fleeing the alliance, each one presented different reasons and excuses – “we didn’t receive help in our time of need.” In the end the alliance was abandoned by all non-Russian speaking corporations. The order was given to re-group forces in Curse, Cache, and Konora.

In the beginning of March 2006, RA began populating its territories with citizens. A majority of the new corporations were ordinary carebears, miners, and ratters who didn’t need anything except high-end ores and fat NPC’s. But in the Scalding Pass region an unusual corporation formed. The region bordered the Great Wildlands and was constantly under attack by -V- alliance. Consequently the new industrial corporations were forced to constantly defend themselves and learned how to PVP. When the coalition began attacking Scalding Pass, those who did not run to Empire, remained with RA forces in 28y till the end to defend the station and remove the POSs. After the fall of 28y they moved with RA into H-ADOC. Because most of the corporations lost many of their members, who did not like all the fighting and who wanted to peacefully carebear, many corporations were down to only a few members.

Fast forward to today, and the Red Alliance has re-established itself as one of the major powers of New Eden, among the likes of the KenZoku and the Tau Ceti Federation.

This is not real. This post is about a Russian-Speaking alliance in the EVE Online video game. Yeah.

The Most Amazing Russian Graffiti You Will Ever See

Russians, like Americans, have those street artists who paint intricate, colorful, awe-inspiring murals on the sides of buildings.

Here's a 10+ story mural of a motley assortment of creatures and characters living in the branches of a tree.



Here's an impressive depiction of underwater robots and machines.



But as nice as these paintings are, they pale in comparison to the next two images, which are displayed across from each other.

One side portrays various American characters, such as Bart Simpson, Robocop, and the Terminator (Who is saying, "Bend Down" - which either is supposed to mean "Bow Down" or the Russians have horribly misconstrued the sexual nature of The Terminator movie). The characters are menacing and the words above the mural say "Duel of the Century."


This is nice and all...but it's their opponent that is the main attraction, and it's someone who we're all familiar with...




That's right. Alexander Pushkin, the poet, is single-handedly taking on the most dangerous of American cinema characters armed with nothing more than a revolver. Why haven't we covered this aspect of Pushkin's legacy yet?

Images from englishrussia.com.

Love and marriage, Love and marriage...

Is there anymore more American than the sitcom? Frasier, Seinfeld, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Married with Children...the list goes on and on and on and on and on. When one thinks of Russian television, one tends to think about the strictly supervised news programs of the Soviet era, and even today political satire is suppressed and news programs present only the Kremlin's point of view. However, in recent years, adaptations of American sitcoms have become among the most popular shows in Russia, the most prominent being Счастливы вместе - an adaptation of Married with Children. However, the significance of this story is not that America makes by far the best TV shows, no, the fact that sitcoms, which are almost universally about middle class people and poke fun at the lives of the well off, are now popular in Mother Russia, which means that more and more people in Russia are able to relate to the people in these shows. When sitcoms were first introduced in Russia during the 1990s, they had very poor ratings because people were simply not interested in watching comedy which they could not relate to.

Here are clips from both the American and Russian versions of Married with Children. There definately seem to be similarities...Oh! They both have a dog!

THE ARTICLE

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/10/world/europe/10sitcom.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1

THE SHOW

THE ORIGINAL

The Birth of Рок-Н-Рол

The following details the integral role that the Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky played in the birth of rock and also roll

In the beginning...

Back in 1955...

Man didn't know 'bout a rock n' roll show...and all that jive


The white man had the schmaltz...


The black man had the blues...


And no one knew what they was gonna do...


But Tchaikovsky had the news...

(Tchaikovsky pre-news acquisition)

He said:

Let there be sound

...there was sound

Let there be light

...there was light

Let there be drums

...there was DRUMS

Let there be guitar
...there was guitar

OHHHHHHHHH

LETTHEREBEROCK!!!

Video Testimony To Tchaikovsky's Actions

Rejoice Comrades!

For we have finally beaten capitalist pigs at own game. Our comrades at Форбз magazine have report that claim the glorious city of Moscow is home to more billionaires than crapville, I mean New York. Да comrades, our moment of triumph is one step closer to us. Moscow now claim семдесять четыре billionaire, to crapville's семдесять один, what a bunch of loser. We may trail in total count, 469 to 87, but that not important.

THE IMPORTANT PART IS THAT WE ARE FINALLY WINNING CHILLY (not quite so cold anymore, no need heavy coat, only windbreaker sometimes) WAR!!!!!

Enjoy your victory while it lasts, Rocky!!!!!

The Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy Ivan!

Everyone's heard of the crazy Ivan. If you haven't, then you're lying. It's that maneuver in Tom Clancy novels where a submarine essentially spins around to see what's behind them. I always figured that this reckless technique was invented by some wacked-out Soviet dude, chugging vodka and doing stunts with his submarine. WRONG. MAN was I shocked to learn that not only was my scenario incorrect, but it's not even like the sudden spin-around in The Hunt for Red October or in Firefly.

The Crazy Ivan is a way for submarine to shifts their radar detection to see spots where they previously could not. A submarine basically cannot detect anything that is directly behind it, so that area is a blind spot. By performing a series of sudden movements, the submarine moves that blind spot around and can detect things previously hidden.

The "crazy" part of the name comes from the sudden movements that the sub performs, and Ivan was a common nickname for Russians, much like Charlie was for the Vietcong.

American subs would counter this tactic by going for absolute silence by shutting off their engines. The problem was that their sub would continue moving due to its momentum and could very likely crash into the other sub, which is exactly what happened in the case of the U.S.S. Tautog and the Russian sub "Black Lila."

Helloa You Peoples. My Namea < Banned >

Some find Sacha Baron Cohen to be a offensive jerk, some think he's a comic genius the likes of which have rarely been seen. However, since Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is in fact a movie to be shown in private theaters, it is each persons choice whether or not to be subject to Cohen's blunt humor. Not in Russia it seems. The Russian government decided that because Borat "might seem disparaging in relation to certain ethnic groups and religions" and so it would not be shown in Russian theaters.

The Russian government has taken similar measures before, albeit with things that are public. For example, Russia prohibited a Gay Pride parade because some might be offended by the existence of gay people. They did the same for a group of racists from having their own march. When a small group of gay people got together to march anyway, they were savagely beaten by ultra-nationalists and then arrested.


The problem is the fact that everyone doesn't have to see Borat. Movies like The Da Vinci Code were allowed to play without controversy. But after the Danish Muhammad cartoon controversy, the Russian government became much more restrictive to things which could offend people's religious ideas. For the first time since the Soviets, a non-pornographic film was banned. This demonstrated the government's power to intervene in private affairs and it willingness to shut down people's freedom of expression of it conflicts with its interests. The interesting thing is that little uproar resulted from this ban, so the Russian government might be emboldened in any other assaults on private matters in the future.

Move over Dahmer, Russia's got it's own sociopaths

Obviously this topic is a little more macabre than the usual ones, but I just had to know - Does Russia have it's own dirty history of serial killers, or does America have that market monopolized. Turns out, they do. My search led me to four names: Sasha Spesivtsev, Andrei Chikatilo, Alexander Pitchushkin, and Darya Saltykova. I won't go into details (you can find those out yourself) but I just thought it'd be interesting to see how Russia's sickos compare to ours. Let's just say they hold their own.

Sasha Spesivtsev was raised in an abusive home where his father tortured the entire family. Sasha was institutionalized after he murdered his girlfriend. Later, he shared an apartment with his mother. One day a plumber, responding to a neighbors call, forced his way into Sasha's home after a pipe breakage and found the apartment covered in blood and with, lets say, surprises throughout. Authorities found Sasha's diary detailing the killing of 19 girls, for which he was sentenced to death.

Andrei Chikatilo, known as the Red Ripper, also lived in a traumatic household. He would often wet the bed, for which his mother would beat and humiliate him. He would approach runaways and vagrants and bring them into the forest, where he would commit his crimes. He was arrested at a train station, but released when he produced a false negative from blood tests. He would go on to kill a total of 52 women and children before being arrested and confessing. He too, was executed.

Alexander Pichushkin, known as the Chessboard Killer, was thought to be in competition with Andrei, which some speculate was the motivation for his actions. He said that he wanted to kill 64 people, equal to the number of squares on a chessboard. When captured though, he claimed that he wouldn't have stopped at 64, he would have continued killing until he was stopped. He was arrested in 2006 and charged with 48 counts of murder, but he told a Russian court to add another 11 counts to that. It took the judge an entire hour to read his sentence, life in prison with the first 15 years to be spent in solitary confinement.

Finally, there's the one female in the group, though she is no less sick than the rest. Darya's crimes occurred long before the others, in the 1700s. Darya inherited her late husband's estate at age 26, which allowed her to do as she pleased to the serfs working there. Darya was well connected in the royal court, so any complaints of the deaths and torture of serfs taking place at her estate were often ignored or even punished. Eventually, relatives fo those killed started a petition and the empress arrested Darya. Darya was held for 6 years while an investigation took place, after which she was found guilty of having tortured and killed 138 female serfs. The death penalty was outlawed at that time, so she had to settle for life locked in the basement of a convent.

For all my homies out there...

I was thinking the other day, as I'm sure everyone was, that hip-hop must be as popular in Mother Russia as it is here. I mean, why WOULDN'T they enjoy the lyrics of guys like Kanye and Fiddy. Well, I decided to investigate. Surprisingly, gangsta rap just isn't that popular over there. The rap in Russia is more like old school rap over here (more about the lyrics, less about the beat; think Tupac or Public Enemy as opposed to the stuff today).

One group that has managed to become popular (and there aren't that many) is Bad Balance, or Bad B. for short.

Here's a little bit of their work:

Nu, Pogodi!

Nu, Pogodi (meaning Just You Wait in Russian) was a very popular cartoon series in the Soviet Union from 1969 to 1986 and is still popular in Russia. It is superficially a cartoon very similar to "Tom and Jerry" in America, with the wolf (voiced by Anatoli Papanov) trying every episode to catch the hare. Each attempt he makes fails and ends up with him yelling "Nu, Pogodi!" However, the cartoon could also be seen as a social satire, where shows like "Tom and Jerry" and the Road Runner shows were just nonsense. The Wolf, who chain-smokes and drinks beer, would be a proletarian (working class), while the innocent and enthusiastic Hare would be a proper Soviet youth. Alexei Kotyonochkin, the son of the director of the show, says that such claims are groundless.

Here's the first episode of "Nu, Pogodi!:"

In Soviet Russia...

That's the famous beginning to many of the jokes from the one and only Yakov Smirnoff, a comedian born when the Soviet Union ruled and later became the focus of his act.

Yakov was born to a Jewish family in Odessa, Ukraine in 1951. Early on he was an art teacher and a painter, but in 1977 he would immigrate to the United States. He was at one point the roommate of another popular comedian, Andrew Dice Clay. He became popular thanks to his demeanor as a bright-eyed, ignorant immigrant and his humorous observations of America with comedic jabs at the totalitarianism (sometimes exaggerated) of the Soviet Union while it was still a major competitor with the USA.

Yakov's jokes typically fell into two categories:

Yakov would comment on some aspect of American culture that is vastly different from his experience in Soviet Russia and exclaiming "what a country!" or he would talk about some statement or advertisement he encountered that he misunderstood thanks to his inexperience. Ex. when he talks about reading employment announcements reading "Part-Time Woman Wanted" he remarks "What a country! even transvestites can get work!"

The other typical Yakov joke was the (now infamous thanks to Family Guy) reversal of nouns and verbs when talking about how things are done in Soviet Russia when compared to how they're done in America. Ex. In the US, you come to the party. In Soviet Russia, Party comes to you! Or in the case of Family Guy: "In Soviet Russia, road forks you!", though Yakov's jokes often talked about some negative aspect of Soviet life rather than just ridiculous statements. Early on in his career he simply said Russia, but once the USSR broke apart, he added the Soviet part to his act to clarify.

An example of Yakov's comedy at the 9th Annual Young Comedians Special


Once the Soviet Union collapsed however, Yakov's popularity diminished greatly since the bulk of his act dealt with poking fun at Soviet life. Once the USSR was gone, Yakov's act lost much of it's substance since no one really wanted to hear Soviet Russia jokes afterwards.

This clip from the Ben Stiller show parodies Yakov's comedy post-Soviet Union


Yakov continues to do comedy shows and paint. In fact, after the September 11 attacks, he painted a mural that expressed his feelings regarding the attacks and which was hung up in New York until it had been damaged due to storms.

Yakov's 9/11 Mural